Challenging Boys : A Proven Plan for Keeping Your Cool and Helping Your Son Thrive.

Format:

Book

Author/Creator:

Davis, J. Timothy, PhD, author.

Language:

English

Subjects (All):

Parenting.

Parents of problem children.

Sons.

Physical Description:

1 online resource (249 pages)

Edition:

1st ed.

Distribution:

New York, NY : Bloomsbury Publishing (US), 2026.

Place of Publication:

Lanham, Maryland : Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2025.

System Details:

text file rdaft

Summary:

Drawing on the author's years of experience as a child psychologist and time as a volunteer firefighter, this book applies the wisdom of the fire service to teach parents of challenging boys to plan and prepare for challenging behaviors and triggers, enabling them to feel confident, relaxed, and ready to support their child.

Contents:

Cover

Half Title

Title

Copyright Page

Dedication

Contents

Author's Note

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter 1: I Know I'm Supposed to Stay Calm. Why Can't I Ever Do It?

Let Go of Blame So You Can Focus on Solving the Problem

Dealing with Our Baggage from the Past

Signs That You Might Be Triggered

Parenting Journal

Key Ideas

Blame

Trauma, Triggers, and Buttons

Parenting Journal Exercise

Chapter 2: The Real Roots of Challenging Behavior: Temperament and Executive Functioning

Temperament

Executive Functioning

Inhibitory Control (or Inhibition)

Working Memory

Cognitive Flexibility

A Child with a Problem Becomes a Problem Child

Ethan

Negative Emotion

Inhibitory Control

Chapter 3: Using Your Parenting Journal to Understand Challenging Episodes

Make Your Emergency Plan

Chapter 4: Rebuilding Your Relationship with Your Son: The Foundation for Change

Accentuate the Positive

Make Time

Play

Show Interest in Your Son's Interests

Get Straight A's: Attention, Affection, Affirmation

Pay Attention

Give Affection

Express Appreciation

Understand and Accept Your Child's Feelings

Distinguish Feelings from Behaviors

Focus on the Emotional Heart of the Matter

Don't Ask Questions, Guess

Validate, Validate, and Validate Some More

Always Be on Your Child's Side

Apologize and Make Amends

Chapter 5: Communication: When to Talk, How to Talk, and When to Listen

Encouraging Your Son to Talk

How to Make Opening Up Feel Good

How to Get Our Sons to Talk

Getting Your Son to Listen

How to Problem Solve

Step 1: Gentle Start-up.

Step 2: Understanding His Perspective

Step 3: Brainstorming

Step 4: Agree to a Plan

Step 5: Evaluate the Plan and Make a New One

Parenting Journal Exercises

Chapter 6: Co-regulation: Laying the Groundwork for Self-Regulation

How to Co-regulate

Tuning In

Tuning In to Yourself

Managing the Environment

Managing His Body

Soothing

What to Do When Nothing Works

Modeling

Coaching

Challenging Behavior Academy

Chapter 7: Punishments, Consequences, and Rules

Punishments

1. Rules and punishments should be clear, decided on in advance, and communicated to the child before the program is started.

2. Pair the punishment program with a reward program.

3. Punishments should be respectful to the child.

4. Punishments should be "mild and brief."

5. Punishments should be immediate and consistent.

6. Make sure you can enforce the punishment.

7. Don't use punishments that punish you or others.

8. Don't take away things that you want your child to be doing.

9. If you do not see immediate positive effects of your punishment program, modify it or abandon it.

Two Examples of Effective Punishment Programs

Example 1: Time-out for Hitting

Example 2: Getting off Screens When Time Is Up

Natural and Logical Consequences

Justice

Rules

1. Rule Number 1 is always: "Nobody gets hurt. Nothing gets broken on purpose."

2. "Everyone has a right to a life."

3. Rules should be simple, clear, and concrete.

4. Give children a say in what the rules are and in what the consequences are for rule infractions.

5. The rules apply to everyone in the family.

6. Post written rules.

Chapter 8: The Effective Use of Rewards

Reward Charts

1. Identify the behaviors to reward.

2. Determine your rewards.

3. Involve your child in the creation of the incentive plan.

4. Don't take away points.

5. Make it manageable.

6. Document the terms of the rewards program and the points progress where everyone can see it.

7. Practice.

8. Evaluate and revise.

Example 1: Getting ready for school on time

Example 2: Swearing

Fading

Preadolescents and Adolescents

Final Thoughts

Chapter 9: Coaching

The Necessary Conditions for Coaching

1. Trust and connection in the parent-child relationship

2. A regulated parent and a regulated child

3. Shared goals

4. Openness to influence

A Coaching Mindset

1. Great coaches understand that emotional connection is the foundation of coaching.

2. Great coaches are gentle.

3. Great coaches get buy-in first.

4. Great coaches are great listeners.

5. Great coaches empower players.

6. Great coaches make things fun.

7. Great coaches are prepared.

Emotion Coaching

Process Focus

Self-Regulation

Self-Talk

Reframe

Practice and Visualization

Examples of Coaching Interventions

Phone Use

Getting Ready for School

Emotion Coaching and Reframing during a Meltdown

Exercise and Fun

Supporting Your Son in Pursuing His Goals

Coaches as Role Models

Chapter 10: Bringing It All Together

Additional Resources

Recommended Reading

General Information Useful to Parents of Challenging Boys

Resources Related to Emotion Coaching

Resources Related to Collaborative Problem-Solving

Resources Related to the IEP Process

Resources for Finding a Therapist in Your Area

Bibliography

Index

About the Author.

ISBN:

979-88-8184-634-3

1-5381-9113-X

OCLC:

1492939854