You can change other people : the four steps to help your colleagues, employees-even family-up their game / Peter Bregman, Howie Jacobson.

Format:

Book

Author/Creator:

Bregman, Peter, author.

Jacobson, Howie, author.

Language:

English

Subjects (All):

Communication in management.

Interpersonal relations.

Leadership.

Physical Description:

1 online resource (240 pages)

Place of Publication:

Hoboken, New Jersey : Wiley, [2022]

Summary:

"People often say "you can't change other people." But that's not true. If you're a leader or a manager in an organization, you have to change other people. It's your job. If you care about the people in your life who aren't reaching their potential or, worse, are acting in self-destructive ways, it's your heart's desire. The problem isn't that you can't change other people, the problem is that the things you do and say to try to change them don't work because you're doing and saying the wrong things. This book provides step-by-step instructions for a seven-stage process to help people move from point A to point B. It's a carefully crafted system honed through three decades of professional application, presented with sample scripts and cartoon illustrations that make it immediately actionable. If you're trying to help the people you care about - whether professionally or personally, you can turn things around in your very next conversation. Within 20 minutes, you can change how you talk to people - and influence them for the better"-- Provided by publisher

Contents:

Cover

Title Page

Copyright Page

Contents

Foreword

Part One A New Way to Help People (Because the Old Ways Don't Work)

Chapter 1 Why It's Important to Change Other People: Brian's 170,000,000 Turnaround

Can You Really Change Other People?

A Tour of the Book

Chapter 2 People Don't Resist Change-They Resist Being Changed: Yes, I Want That Third Bowl of Ice Cream!

Chapter 3 Power 1: Ownership: Whose Spreadsheet Is It Anyway?

Chapter 4 Power 2: Independent Capability: Spencer Thinks He's Helping, but He's Not

Chapter 5 Power 3: Emotional Courage: If You Are Willing to Feel Everything, You Can Do Anything

Chapter 6 Power 4: Future-Proofing: Change Is a Future Thing

Part Two The Four Steps

Step One Shift from Critic to Ally

Chapter 7 Become an Ally: The Ramona Problem

Chapter 8 Be Your Own Ally First: Find Your Positive Intent

Body

Mind

Emotions

Intent

Chapter 9 Then Be Your Partner's Ally: Find Their Positive Intent

Chapter 10 How to Get Permission to Help: Silver Platter Opportunities

The Permission Formula

Chapter 11 How to Initiate the Conversation: Do You Have a Minute?

Chapter 12 Don't Rely on Your Position of Power: Are You Willing to Try Something?

How to Use Positional Power in the Workplace

Chapter 13 Stay on Track: Pitfalls to Avoid

Getting Stuck in a Complaint/Empathy Loop

Forcing a Yes

Refusing to Take "No" for an Answer

Rushing

Becoming Defensive

Step 2 Identify an Energizing Outcome

Chapter 14 Problems Are Signposts Pointing to Energizing Outcomes: No More Code, No More Bugs

Chapter 15 Make it Positive: Transform "Don't Want" into "Do Want"

Chapter 16 Make It Clear: Get to Shared Clarity

Using Empathy to Drive Clarity

Chapter 17 Make It Meaningful: Get to What Matters

Step 3 Find the Hidden Opportunity.

Chapter 18 Become a Scientist: They're Not Learning from You

They're Learning with You

The Opportunity Step in Action

Chapter 19 Question 1: What's Happening Now?: Explore the Problem in Depth

Separating Data from Interpretation

How to Shift from Generalizations to Specifics

Chapter 20 Question 2: What Have You Tried?: What Worked and What Didn't?

And What Else?

What Did That Look Like?

Past Attempts Can Tell You Why They're Stuck

What If They Haven't Tried Anything?

Chapter 21 Question 3: How Can You Use the Problem to Achieve Your Energizing Outcome?: Thank Goodness for This Problem

Find the Upside in the Downside

Find the System Upgrade Opportunity

When the Problem Looks Like a Skills Gap

The Opportunity in a Dysfunctional Habit

The Opportunity in Fear

Chapter 22 How Not to Get Distracted: Keep Your GPS On

Distraction: Blaming Others

Distraction: Self-Criticism

Distraction: Fear That the Future Will Echo the Past

How to Become Distraction-Proof: Emotional Courage

Step 4 Create a Level-10 Plan

Chapter 23 Craft the Plan: Move from Insight to Traction

Chapter 24 Task 1: Identify Options: Let's Put That on the List. What Else Might You Try?

Tips to Help Identify Options

What Else?

What About Yoda?

How to Help Generate Options

How to Suggest Options

Chapter 25 Task 2: Choose the Path Forward: If You Did Know, What Would It Be?

Ask for Details

Identify and Explore Risks

Brainstorm Ways to Mitigate Risks

Role-Play to Identify and Mitigate Risks

When They Don't Know What to Do

When You Think They're Making a Mistake

Chapter 26 Task 3: Commit to the Plan: What, How, and When?

The Power of When/Then

Getting to Level 10-or as Close as Possible

How Will They Measure Success?

Agree to Follow Up

The Follow-Up.

Chapter 27 Taking the Four Steps into Your World: You Can Change Other People

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

EULA.

Notes:

Description based on print version record.

ISBN:

9781119816607

1119816602

9781119816591

1119816599

OCLC:

1272998024