Come as you are : the surprising new science that will transform your sex life / Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.

Format:

Book

Author/Creator:

Nagoski, Emily, author.

Language:

English

Subjects (All):

Sex instruction for women.

Sexual health.

Women--Sexual behavior.

Women.

Women--Health and hygiene.

Genre:

Self-help publications.

Physical Description:

xi, 382 pages : illustrations ; 23 cm

Edition:

Simon and Schuster trade paperback edition, Revised and updated.

Place of Publication:

New York, NY : Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, 2021.

Summary:

"A revised and updated edition of Emily Nagoski's game-changing New York Times bestseller Come As You Are, featuring new information and research on mindfulness, desire, and pleasure that will radically transform your sex life"-- Provided by publisher.

Contents:

The True Story of Sex

The Organization of This Book

A Couple of Caveats

If You Feel Broken, or Know Someone Who Does

pt. 1 The (Not-So-Basic) Basics

1. Anatomy: No Two Alike

The Beginning

The Clit, the Whole Clit, and Nothing but the Clit

Meet Your Clitoris

Lips, Both Great and Small

Hymen Truths

A Word on Words

The Sticky Bits

Intersex Parts

Why It Matters

Change How You See

A Better Metaphor

What It Is, Not What It Means

2. The Dual Control Model: Your Sexual Personality

Turn On the Ons, Turn Off the Offs

Your Sexual Temperament

What "Medium" Means

Different for Girls... Sometimes

What Turns You On?

Can You Change Your Brain?

3. Context: And the "One Ring" (to Rule Them All) in Your Emotional Brain

Sensation in Context

Sex, Rats, and Rock `n' Roll

Liking, Wanting, and Learning

You Can't Make Them

"Is Something Wrong with Me?" (Answer: Nope)

pt. 2 Sex In Context

4. Emotional Context: Sex in a Monkey Brain

The Stress Response Cycle; Fight, Flight, and Freeze

Stress and Sex

Broken Culture [→] Broken Stress Response Cycles

Complete the Cycle!

When Sex Becomes the Lion

Sex and the Survivor

Origin of Love

The Science of Falling in Love

Attachment and Sex: The Dark Side

Attachment and Sex: Sex That Advances the Plot

Attachment Style

Managing Attachment: Your Feels as a Sleepy Hedgehog

Survival of the Social

The Water of Life

5. Cultural Context: A Sex-Positive Life in a Sex-Negative World

Three Messages You Are Beautiful

Criticizing Yourself = Stress = Reduced Sexual Pleasure

Health at Every Size

"Dirty"

When Somebody "Yucks" Your "Yum"

Maximizing Yum... with Science! Part 1: Self-Compassion

Maximizing Yum... with Science! Part 2: Cognitive Dissonance

Maximizing Yum... with Science! Part 3: Media Nutrition You Do You

pt. 3 Sex In Action

6. Arousal: Lubrication Is Not Causation

Measuring and Defining Nonconcordance

All the Same Parts, Organized in Different Ways: "This Is a Restaurant"

Nonconcordance in Other Emotions

Lubrication Error #1: Genital Response = Desire

Lubrication Error #2: Genital Response = Pleasure

Lubrication Error #3: Nonconcordance Is a Problem

"Honey... I'm Nonconcordant!"

7. Desire: Spontaneous, Responsive, and Magnificent

Desire = Pleasure in Context

Good News! It's Probably Not Your Hormones

More Good News! It's Not Monogamy, Either

"Why Can't I Just Take a Pill?"

It Might Be the Chasing Dynamic

"Sex Worth Wanting"

Sharing Your Garden

pt. 4 Ecstasy For Everybody

8. Orgasm: Pleasure Is the Measure

Nonconcordance

Now with Orgasms!

No Two Alike

All the Same Parts

Your Vagina's Okay, Either Way

Difficulty with Orgasm

Impatient Little Monitors

Ecstatic Orgasm: You're a Flock!

How Do You Medicate a Flock?

Flying Toward Ecstasy

9. Love What's True: The Ultimate Sex-Positive Context

Why Confidence Is Not Enough

Step 1 Your Feelings Are Always True

The Map and the Terrain: A Tool for Reality Checking

Step 2 The Hard Part (Or, How to "Nonjudging")

Nonjudging 1 "No Good Reason"

Nonjudging 2 Healing Trauma

Nonjudging 3 Pain

Nonjudging 4 Pleasure

Nonjudging 5 Mourning the "Shoulds"

"To Feel Normal"

Conclusion: You Are the Secret Ingredient

Why I Wrote This Book

Where to Look for More Answers.

Notes:

Includes bibliographical references and index.

Other Format:

Online version: Nagoski, Emily, Come as you are: revised and updated

ISBN:

9781982165314

1982165316

OCLC:

1162985612

Publisher Number:

99987420818