Screw the roses, send me the thorns : the romance and sexual sorcery of sadomasochism / by Philip Miller and Molly Devon ; foreword by William Granzig.

Format:

Book

Author/Creator:

Miller, Philip, 1952-

Contributor:

Devon, Molly.

Edward Potts Cheyney Memorial Fund.

Language:

English

Subjects (All):

Sexual dominance and submission.

Sadomasochism.

Physical Description:

vii, 277 pages : illustrations ; 28 cm

Edition:

First edition.

Manufacture:

2006.

Place of Publication:

Fairfield, Conn. : Mystic Rose Books, 1995.

Summary:

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns will tell you all about sadomasochism. We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's why we do it. But fun is only SM's overture; for those who grasp its message, SM is sexual magic. The right blend of trust, fantasy, and sensuality creates an intensely erotic and deeply intimate stew. We take away our lovers' freedom and lead them to profound liberty. We peer into the dark together, transforming it to light. In these pages you will find clear explanations for the curious, and solid advice, safety measures and steamy suggestions for the adventurous. Allow us to guide you through the captivating realms of sensuality, dreamed of by millions, realized by few, and understood by fewer still.

Contents:

1 Gee, Toto, I Don't Think We Are In Kansas Anymore! 1

Your hosts, Molly and Philip 2

What sadomasochism is 4

What sadomasochism is not 6

Scenespeak, learning the lingo 7

Scene 8

Playing 9

Player 9

Sadomasochism 9

Dominance and submission 9

Bondage and discipline 9

The who's who of SM 10

Masochist 10

Dominant 11

Submissive 11

Natural submissives and dominants 12

Tops and bottoms 13

Switch 13

Professional female dominants 15

Fetishist 15

Sub-Chapter XY - Gender and sexual orientation 15

Pronoun, pronoun, who's got the pronoun? 16

The gay SM scene 16

Simple starts, safe starts 16

2 Sexual Magic Why We Do Do That Voodoo 18

Trust and communication 24

Talking 24

Learning the body you want to bludgeon 26

The mind as an erogenous zone 27

Anticipation 27

Conditioning

Three ways to Skinner a pussy 28

Visualization

Scheherazade goes dom 29

Sensory relocation 31

Dominance and submission 31

3 The Politics of Very Strange Bedfellows Sensible SM Relationships and Dangerous Liaisons 34

Steering your love-boat into the rapids 34

With 31 flavors available, why serve only vanilla? 36

Catching a live one 37

The Law of supply and demand 38

What to look for 40

Looking for Mr. Good-dom 40

Seeking suitable submissives 41

The hunt 42

Organizations & support groups 42

Public clubs 42

Magazine and newspaper ads 43

Kink goes electronic 43

Would-bes, Wannabes, and other forgettable characters 45

The downside of the subside 47

Safety suggestions for meeting through ads or BBS's 48

Mistress Manners 49

4 "You Want To Worship My What???" Negotiation and Relationships 51

Compatibility 52

The Ideal Dominant 53

The Ideal Submissive 54

Negotiating sex in SM 55

Levels of dominant and submissive power exchange 56

Level 1 Conditional Compliance 57

Level 2 Restricted Ongoing Acquiescence 57

Level 3 Provisional Submission 58

Level 4 The Covenant of Dominance and Submission 58

Level 5 Absolute Ownership 59

Ownership and Lifestylers 59

The three biggest lies 61

Abusive relationships 62

Limits - The lines never to be crossed 63

Safe words 64

Contracts and agreements 65

Sample contract of submission 66

Negotiation Questionnaire 66

5 Straight Facts and Bent Phalluses Sexual Attitudes 69

No goals, no roles 71

Philip's Tree House: !!!No Girls Allowed!!! 71

A word about approach 73

Sign language 73

Rediscovering the joys of the flesh 74

Molly's notes from the quilting bee 75

Busting barriers 77

6 Non-Government Sanctioned Sex and Torture 78

Clips, clamps, and clothespins 78

Fire and ice 80

Electro-torture 81

The cutting edge 82

Anal play, general considerations 83

Anal sex 84

Anal training and object stimulation 85

Self-training for anal play 86

Enemas 86

Feeding the pussy syntho-meat 88

Fisting 89

Forced sex (never say never) 90

Smoke and Mirrors 90

7 Get Them By the Balls; Their Hearts and Minds Will Follow Bondage Theory 93

First, you need a plan 95

Bondage safety 95

Ten rules to be bound by 96

Anatomy for safer bondage 99

Emergency quick release 100

Novice bondage 101

The first session 101

The second session 103

The tournament of wills 104

The third and all the rest of your sessions 106

8 Of Humane Bondage Bondage Techniques 107

Bonds that tie 107

Finishing the rope 108

Knots 109

Releasing your victim 112

A simple wrist bondage 113

Crossed ankle bondage 114

Breast bondage 115

Oriental rope dress 116

Hints 119

Variations 119

Rope alternatives 119

Plastic wrap bondage 120

Wrist and ankle cuffs 121

Bondage harness and collars 123

Blindfolds 123

Gags 124

A cloth gaggage primer 126

Hoods and sensory deprivation 128

Spandex 128

Specialty items 129

Simple solutions for attachments 130

9 Philip's Philosophy of Phlogging Phun The Corporal Dimension 132

Environment 132

Beginning a session 133

Positioning 134

Bondage and Whipping 135

Beginning 136

Ending a scene 137

Kneeling before the lash 137

Philip's ten commandments of flagellation 138

I. Thou shalt never strike thine submissive in anger 139

II. Thou shalt not damage thine sub. Knoweth the difference between hurt and harm 139

Marking 140

Reading the submissives's butt after a scene - a chart 141

III. Thine sub and thee shalt negotiate thoroughly and each shall respecteth the limits of the other 142

IV. Learneth well the anatomy of thine targets 142

V. Thou shalt abide by SM safety rules and practices 143

VI. Knoweth intimately the feel, range, and effect of each of thine implements of destruction. It is better for all to receive before one gives 143

How does it feel? 143

Orchestrating your percussion 144

VII. Thou shalt develop proper stance and technique 145

VIII. Seeketh an expert's advice, training, and counsel for the weapons you would master 145

IX. Thou shalt Practice! Practice! Practice! and use upon a fanny only those toys with which thou art an expert 145

X. Never stop watching! Focus is next to godliness 145

10 When the Inner Child Deserves a Spanking Philip's (and Phriend's) Phurther Pheelings on Phlogging 146

Preparing the skin for a beating 146

Where to hit - a chart 148

The warm up 150

Warming up for a heavy scene 150

Spanking 151

Paddling 152

Face slapping 153

Caning and cropping 153

Flogging 154

Cat-anatomy 154

Flogger or cat? 155

How to practice whipping 155

Let this be a lesson to ya: A tutorial on using the cat-style whip, or flogger 156

Stance 156

The strokes 156

Forehand overhead stroke 157

Backhand overhead stroke 160

Figure-eight Stroke 160

Tips and traps 160

The single-lash whip 162

Bullwhips are not only at home on the range / Robert Dante 162

11 It's Only Pain, Dear, and It's Only Yours Why Take A Long Road To Enlightenment, When You Can Haul Ass On A Super Highway? 168

Flying: "ground control to Master Tom" 171

The maiden voyage of rocket Molly 176

Endorphin highs and other vacation spots 177

Reprise; tops, bottoms and switches 181

"Ouch... Mmmmmmmmmmmm!" Experiencing pain as pleasure 181

12 Making the Upper Cheeks Red Embarrassment, Humiliation and the Mind Fuck 184

Politically incorrect but emotionally valid 190

Verbal abuse 191

Humiliation 191

Mindfuck, not mental rape 193

Exhibitionism 194

Public play 194

Dressing 195

Sexual denial, the ultimate weapon 197

Emotional growth through SM 199

Has anyone seen my self-esteem? - A search for myself 199

13 Furnishing Your Dungeon 201

Where to play while the castle is being repainted 201

Life with children 202

Hanging slaves and other decorative touches 203

Recycling Aunt Sophie's ottoman, or, why buy a rack with a perfectly good workbench in the basement? 204

A dungeon tour 204

Just for the dungeon 210

The torture group 212

The bondage group 213

The sex-toy group 214

The hitting group 215

Where to get your goodies 218

Found objects 219

Traveling with toys 220

Making your own toys 221

Leather tips 221

Designs 221

Appendix A SM Support Groups and Organizations 241

Appendix B Stores, Suppliers, and Artisans 252

Appendix C Computer Bulletin Boards 268

Appendix D SM and Fetish Magazines 269

Appendix F NLA Statement On Domestic Violence 273.

Notes:

Includes bibliographical references (pages 271-272) and index.

Local Notes:

Acquired for the Penn Libraries with assistance from the Edward Potts Cheyney Memorial Fund.

ISBN:

0964596008

OCLC:

37187240