The mourner's dance : what we do when people die / Katherine Ashenburg.

Format:

Book

Author/Creator:

Ashenburg, Katherine.

Language:

English

Subjects (All):

Mourning customs.

Death--Psychological aspects.

Death.

Bereavement--Psychological aspects.

Bereavement.

Physical Description:

326 pages, 8 unnumbered pages of plates : illustrations ; 22 cm

Edition:

First American edition.

Place of Publication:

New York : North Point Press, 2003.

Summary:

When her daughter's fiance died suddenly, Katherine Ashenburg was surprised to see how, amid the expected ceremonies of modern mourning, her daughter intuitively re-created the traditional rituals of grief, even those of which she was entirely ignorant. Intrigued, Ashenburg began to explore the rich and endlessly inventive choreographies different cultures have devised to mark a universal and deeply felt condition. Her travels and researches explored familiar customs like the Jewish ritual of sitting shiva and Mexico's Day of the Dead and, further afield, introduced her to Hindu funeral pyres, the "merry wakes" of Newfoundland, and other unexpected customs. She also journeyed back in time to uncover the changing face of mourning from the Roman era to the present, paying particular attention to the hair bracelets, deathbed portraits, and elaborate rites of those mourners par excellence, the Victorians.

Contemporary North American culture favors a way of mourning that is private and virtually invisible. But, as Ashenburg reveals, the grieving customs of the past were so integrated into daily life that ultimately they gave rise to public parks, department stores, and ready-to-wear clothing. Our keepsakes, prescribed bereavement garb, cemeteries, mourning etiquette, and ways of commiserating -- from wakes to Internet support groups -- remain clues to a society's most elemental beliefs and keys to personal consolation. One of the prices we pay for human attachment is that we grieve when a loved one dies, and every society has found ways to support and contain the mourner's grief. The Mourner's Dance uncovers the psychological wisdom embedded in these customs ancient and new, and the value of ritual in restoring selves, and communities, unraveled by loss. It is about how, in the wake of death, we go on living.

Contents:

1 The Bustle in a House 9

2 Wailing Time 33

3 The Celebration 51

4 Final Destination 76

5 After Great Pain 110

6 How to Mourn 126

7 The Gender of Mourning 157

8 Sad Clothes 185

9 Sorrow Shared 207

10 Keepsakes 233

11 As Gently As Possible 260.

Notes:

Originally published: Toronto : Macfarlane Walter & Ross, 2002.

Includes bibliographical references (pages [295]-310) and index.

ISBN:

0865476780

OCLC:

52477110