21st-century etiquette : Charlotte Ford's guide to manners for the modern age / Charlotte Ford ; with Jacqueline deMontravel.

Format:

Book

Author/Creator:

Ford, Charlotte, 1941-

Contributor:

DeMontravel, Jacqueline.

Language:

English

Subjects (All):

Etiquette.

Physical Description:

xvi, 288 pages : illustrations ; 24 cm

Other Title:

Twenty-first century etiquette

Place of Publication:

Guilford, Conn. : Lyons Press, [2001]

Summary:

What's the proper way to address a business colleague over email? Is it a social faux pas to use one's cell phone on a commuter train? What's a polite way to get out of a second date? Nowadays it seems the old rules of etiquette are changing faster than we can keep up with them. Technology that accelerates communication; alternative lifestyles and family arrangements; tele-commuting and other unconventional career situations all conspire to render many of the rules of generations past obsolete. Amidst such changes many of us are at a loss for how to behave with good manners and grace. In 21st-Century Etiquette, Charlotte Ford, a doyenne of decorum in her own right, takes the mystery out of modern propriety and reminds us that polite behavior comes down to a simple matter of common sense and treating others with respect.

Contents:

Chapter I Taming Technology

Multitasking 3

E-tiquette 3

Netiquette: Chat Rooms and the Internet 8

Cyberspeak 9

Telephones, Cell Phones, and Related Accessories 11

Phone-tiquette 14

Taming Technology Quiz 24

Expert Advice: Geraldine Laybourne, of Oxygen Media 27

Chapter II Everyday Courtesies

Where's the Service in Customer Service? 30

Communicating in Public Places 30

Smiling 30

How to Treat People with Disabilities 31

Being Neighborly 33

How and When to Complain 34

Road Rules 35

Giving Up Your Seat on Public Transportation 35

Giving Advice 36

Accepting Compliments 36

With Friends Like These 36

The Friend Who Rarely Commits 37

When a Friend Embarrasses You 37

Shaking Hands 39

Social Kissing 39

Improper Questions 39

Evading Personal Questions 40

Taking Your Foot Out of Your Mouth 40

Chance Encounters 41

The Name Game 42

The Newlywed Woman 42

How to Address Strangers 42

Everyday Courtesies Quiz 43

Chapter III Table Manners

Not at the Table 45

Napkins on Your Lap 46

The Formal Table Setting 46

There's More Than One Fork? 47

Unsanitary Service 48

Serving 48

Holding Utensils 48

Dropping Silverware 49

Holding Drinking Glasses 49

Toasts 50

Accidents at the Table 50

Tongue and Teeth 50

Food for Thought 51

Expert Advice: Robert and Margrit Mondavi, Mondavi Wines 59

Chapter IV Dining Right

Reciprocating Plans 64

The Customers' Rights 64

Reservations 64

Handling the Wait Staff 65

Attracting the Waiter's Attention 65

Reading the Menu 66

The Wine List 67

Giving Your Order 67

Special Orders 68

Discussing Your Diet 68

Sharing Meals 68

Table Hopping 69

No-Host Parties 69

Dining Alone 70

The Tab 70

When Someone Doesn't Pay His or Her Share 71

Tipping 71

Expert Advice: Daniel Boulud, Executive Chef/Restaurateur 75

Chapter V That's Entertaining

What's to Entertain? 77

No Time to Entertain 78

Brunch 79

Tea 79

Cocktail Parties 80

Personalized Parties 80

Dinner Party Gifts 81

Arrivals 81

Uninvited Guests 81

Mingling 82

Yawning 82

A Conversation with Someone Older 83

A Conversation with Someone Younger 84

Conversations with Someone Who Has Different Interests 84

Guests and Seating 85

The Creative Table Setting 85

The Menu 86

Dinner Music 86

Dinner Conversation 87

The Awkward Pause 87

After Dinner 88

Coffee, Tea

You're Free to Leave 88

Departures 88

Expert Advice: Colin Cowie, Entertainment Enterpriser 92

Chapter VI The Houseguest

The Good Guest 95

House Rules 96

The Morning Routine 98

If It Doesn't Belong to You, It Doesn't Belong to You 98

The Extended Guest 99

Unexpected Guests 100

Time Shares 100

Pets 101

Expert Advice: Andre Balazs, Hotelier 105

Chapter VII Correspondence

Business Letters 107

Addressing People 109

Salutation and Closing 110

Thank-You Notes 110

Stationery 112

Invitations 113

Wedding Invitations 113

RSVPs 113

Letters of Complaint 113

Holiday Cards 116

Letters of a Personal Nature 117

Condolence Letters 117

Replies to Condolence Letters 119

Expert Advice: Helen Gurley Brown, Editor in Chief of Cosmopolitan international editions, Author of The Writer's Rules, and Devoted Correspondent 123

Chapter VIII Single Process

No Time to Date 126

What About The Book of Rules? 127

Asking Someone Out 127

Guess Who's Paying for Dinner 128

Brokering the Blind Date 130

Dating in the Workplace 130

Dating During a Divorce 131

Suddenly Unattached 132

Older Men, Younger Women 132

Older Women, Younger Men 133

The Single Target 134

Breaking Up 135

Let's Be Friends 136

Getting Back Together 136

My Place or Yours? 137

When You Don't Approve of Your Friend's Relationship 138

Chapter IX In Living Matrimony

The Prenup 143

Sharing 145

Decorating Together 145

Redecorating with a Spouse Who Was Previously Married 146

Sharing Closets 147

Sharing a Bathroom 147

Sharing a Bed 148

Sharing Finances 149

Different Sets of Friends 150

The In-laws 150

Holidays 151

In Living Matrimony Quiz 153

Expert Advice: Cokie Roberts, Political Commentator 153

Chapter X Family Matters

The Importance of Time 158

The Dinner Table 158

What Every Kid Should Know at the Table 159

New Mommy Etiquette 160

Mommy and Me Classes 160

Sharing 160

The Only Child 161

Sibling Rivalry 161

Dealing with a Bully 162

Taking Your Kids to Public Places 163

Tantrums in Public Places 163

Parents Who Reprimand Their Children in Public Places 164

Parents Who Fight in Front of Their Children 164

The Quick Fix 165

Discipline 165

Responsibility 166

Teaching Your Children About Death 166

Swearing and Naughty Words 167

The Nanny Factor 167

Gay Parenting 168

Single Parenting 168

Divorced Parenting 169

Chapter XI Tuning Teen Etiquette

Kids Today 174

Overly Involved Parents 174

Teens and the Internet 175

Teens and the Telephone 175

Swearing Among Teens 176

When Your Child's Friend Is Rude 176

The Problem Friend 176

Embarrassing Your Kids 177

Teens and Trends 177

Makeup 178

Borrowing the Car 178

Establishing a Curfew 179

Teens and Substance Abuse 179

Drugs and Alcohol at Parties 180

Dating 181

The Sex Talk 181

The Teen and Financial Responsibility 183

The Teen's First Job Interview 183

The College Interview 184

Chapter XII Etiquette During Life's Challenges

Handling Tragedy 189

How to Handle Other People's Tragedy 190

Separation/Divorce 190

Whom and Whom to Tell 191

New Partner, New Kids 191

Gossip 192

Private Problems That Become Public 192

Losing a Job 193

Facing Illness 194

How to Treat People with Illnesses 194

Hospital Etiquette 194

Suicide 195

Notice of Death 196

Funerals 197

When There Are No Right Words 197

Expert Advice: Eddie McPhee, Big Brother Winner 200

Chapter XIII Dress Code

Finding Your Style 203

Dressing the Part 205

Dressing for the Job Interview 205

Dressing in Today's Workplace 206

Creating a Dependable Wardrobe 207

Religious Services 209

Funerals 209

Holidays 210

Weddings 210

What's Black Tie? 211

Expert Advice: Kate Spade, Designer 215

Chapter XIV Propriety in the Workplace

The Job Interview 217

General Office Decorum 219

How to Be Boss-y 219

The Office Peon 220

Getting Coffee 221

Under Pressure 222

Encouraging Words 222

Working with Your Assistant 223

Office Mentor 223

Keeping Someone Waiting 224

Office Complaints 224

Discussing Salary in the Workplace 224

Personal Life in a Professional Environment 225

Sexual Harassment 225

At Home at Work 226

Christmas Presents 227

When You Receive an Unexpected Gift 228

Business Functions 228

Mingling 229

Handing Business Cards 230

Exiting Gracefully 230

Chapter XV Financial Manners

Spending Wisely 235

Friends Suddenly Coming into Money 236

Living Beyond Your Means 236

Friends and Money 237

Trading Stocks 238

Tipping 239

Holiday Tipping 242

Travel 243

Expert Advice: Terry Savage, Financial Expert 248

Chapter XVI Travel Protocol

Travel Smart, Travel Safe 251

How to Dress and Pack 252

Automobiles 253

Cruises 253

Boats 254

Accommodations 254

Tipping in Foreign Countries 255

Traveling with a Friend 255

Traveling with Small Children 256

Cultural Differences 256

Taking Photographs 257

Bargaining 257

Major Setbacks 258

Expert Advice: Chris Blackwell, Chairman of Island Outpost 262

Chapter XVII Every Other Day Etiquette

Household Help 266

The Baby-sitter 267

Automated Teller Machines 267

Foul Weather Behavior 267

Dry Cleaners 268

Spectator Sports 269

Parents and Their Child's Sporting Competitions 269

Good Sportsmanship 269

Skiers Versus Snowboarders 270

Gym Etiquette 271

Smoking 273

Treating Panhandlers 273

Birthdays 273

Gift Giving 274.

Notes:

Includes index.

ISBN:

1585743372

OCLC:

47838189