Shame : the exposed self / Michael Lewis.

Format:

Book

Author/Creator:

Lewis, Michael, 1937 January 10-

Language:

English

Subjects (All):

Shame.

Shame--Case studies.

Physical Description:

xii, 291 pages : illustrations ; 24 cm

Edition:

First Free Press paperback edition.

Place of Publication:

New York : Free Press, 1995.

Summary:

Shame, in some sense the quintessential human emotion, received little attention during the years in which the central forces believed to be motivating us were identified as primitive instincts like sex and aggression. Now redressing the balance, there is an explosion of interest in the self-conscious emotion. Much of our psychic lives involves the negotiation of shame, asserts Michael Lewis, internationally known developmental and clinical psychologist. Shame is normal, not pathological, though opposite reactions to shame underlie many conflicts among individuals and groups, and some styles of handling shame are clearly maladaptive. Illustrating his argument with examples from everyday life, Lewis draws on his own pathbreaking studies and the theory and research of many others to construct the first comprehensive and empirically based account of emotional development focused on shame. He traces the precursors of a sense of self in infancy and early childhood, and describes the consequences of shame which goes unacknowledged, such as sadness, rage, or depression. Lewis also explores the many ways in which shame is induced and expressed, reflecting on the broader implications of these differences--for instance, the divergence, early in life, of men's and women's experiences of and responses to shame; he finds that women are more ashamed, more of the time. Cultures, Lewis argues, are shaped by the ways in which children are taught to deal with shame. What many have seen as a rise in narcissism in contemporary America, following years of emphasis on self-actualization and personal freedom as opposed to commitment and community is associated with an increase in shame. Narcissism is in somesense the ultimate attempt to avoid shame, albeit a doomed one. Lewis shows how approaches to shame differ not only among cultures, but religions as well. Judaism and Christianity for instance, hold different approaches to shame. He explores the major tenets of each belief including mainstream Protestantism, Catholicism, and fundamentalist Christianity and discusses the relative degree of orientation of each toward shame or guilt. Understanding shame is the first step toward coping with it effectively. This book offers a new way of understanding fights between husband and wife, parent and child, nation and nation, and it will be, for many a crucial impetus to take or to help others take that first step.

Contents:

1. Shame in Everyday Life 1

Shame Is Everywhere

The Plan of This Book

2. Our Emotional Lives 13

Are Emotions Feelings?

Primary Versus Secondary Emotions

Emotional Expression

The Behavioral Measures of Shame

Emotional Experience

The Role of the Self in Shame

A Phenomenological Sense of Shame

3. The Self and Its Development 36

Modes of Self-Consciousness and Ways of Knowing

Consciousness and the Self

The Duality of the Self

The Development of Objective Self-Awareness

Modes of Self: From Reflexes to Objective Self-Awareness

The Causes of Self-Development

4. Self Thoughts and Shame 59

Psychoanalysis and the Subject of Shame

A Cognitive Attributional Theory

Making Sense of the Model

5. The Origins of Shame 84

Genesis and the Creation Myth

The Development of the Self-Conscious Emotions

Origins of Shame

6. The Socialization of Shame: From Parent to Child 98

How We Come to Think About Ourselves

The Roles of Disgust, Contempt, Humiliation, and Love Withdrawal in the Production of Shame

Prototypicality of Stimuli That Produce Shame

7. Reacting to Our Feelings: Felt and Unfelt Shame 119

Felt and Bypassed Shame

Owning Shame: How to Get Rid of It

8. Prolonged Reactions to Shame: Humiliation, Depression, and Rage 138

Shame, Depression, and Interpersonal Life

Anger, Rage, and Shame

Uncovering Shame in Interpersonal Relationships

9. Pathologies of Self: Narcissism and Multiple Personalities 163

Narcissism

Multiple Personality Disorders (MPD)

10. Individual Differences and Shame Fights Between Couples 174

Shame in Individuals

Couples and the Two Worlds Hypothesis

The Psychic War Between the Sexes

Pathological Shame and Couples

Intergenerational and Sex Differences in Shame:

The Oedipus Myth Revisited

11. Stigma 194

A List of Stigmas

The Public Cry

Stigma Contagion

Stigma, Attribution, and Shame

12. Shame Across Time and Place 208

Changes Across Place

Selves Over Time.

Notes:

Includes bibliographical references (pages 263-282) and index.

ISBN:

068482311X

OCLC:

32738098